Devotional #3: The Beautiful Promise of Hope
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”- I Corinthians 13:13.
As I mentioned in Devotional #2, one comment that always seemed to upset me when I was battling cancer was when people told me of people who died from the same cancer I had. Of all painful statements or comments this was the most common. While not necessarily scripturally unfounded, the effect was. These statements hurt…deeply. Instead of instilling faith, hope and love, these statements instilled doubt, fear and despair. As Paul reminds us when everything else is lost, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.” (I Corinthians 13:13 NIV). For people who already feel the rug has been pulled out underneath them, and are searching for those small reminders of hope, a statement like this can cause them more pain, and worse yet can lead to them running away from Christ. The story of Michael that is referenced in Devotional #1 is a good example of this.
Going deeper still, I have come to believe that the most damaging result of commenting on people who have died from cancer is that it destroys hope. I now understand that Faith, Hope and Love work together. Faith brings us to God. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith” Ephesians 2:8 NIV. Love provides the path by which we can be with God in eternity. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16. Hope give us the strength to persevere in this earthly world until we are united with God in eternity. Hope also brings joy and the Lord delights in those who Hope.
Consider these scriptures:
“but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31 NIV
“But the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.” Psalm 147:11
“The hope of the righteous brings joy, but the expectation of the wicked will perish.” Proverbs 10:28
According to Psychology Today, society today is facing “an epidemic of hopelessness.” This epidemic is resulting in increased deaths from suicide and drug/alcohol overdoses. From 1999-2014, the annual U.S. suicide rate increase a shocking 24%! The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention reported that suicide was the 10th leading cause of death in 2016. What is more, the suicide rate for persons with cancer is over 200% of that of the suicide rate for the general population.
Truly, hope is a beautiful gift that gives cancer patients, like me, the strength to carry on when all seems lost. Next to the message of God’s gift of salvation through Christ, hope is perhaps the best gift someone can give to a cancer patient. But, how can this gift be provided? I suggest through scripture and positive affirmation. Instead of telling a cancer patient about people who have died, try affirming their strength and God’s love for them. This can be done simply by saying, “I am so sorry for what you are facing, but I know you are very strong. With our Lord’s help you will pull through this,” or remind him/her of some scriptures that instill hope:
“Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” Luke 18:27 NIV.
“God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” Hebrews 13:5 NIV.
“no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me, declares the Lord.” Isaiah 54:17 NIV.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV.
“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14
NIV.
For those fighting cancer who are subjected to stories of people who have lost their lives to cancer, remind yourself that your story is different than anyone else’s and only God can dictate you story, and there is always hope in our Savior, Jesus Christ. There are miracles upon miracles that people can share about how Christ has healed them—He still heals today.
So, how do we cancer patients respond to stories of death? Often I just remain silent and walk away. But, sometimes speaking the truth in love is necessary. The day after my maternal grandmother died in 2019, I was scheduled to teach a workshop at a Legal Summit in Virginia Beach. The organization running the Summit graciously accommodated me. The President of the sponsoring organization took over my workshop so that I could leave for the funeral. I arrived at the hotel the day before to deliver my Power Point to the President, and to take advantage of a free hotel room to relax.
To the general public, I stand out because I wear a cancer treatment device on my head that often draws attention to my condition. At the hotel registration desk, a Catholic Priest proceeded to tell me about his cousin, a nun, who died from brain cancer. Emotionally raw and sleep deprived, I took a big breath and said, “I’m sorry that happened to you, but such stories are not helpful to me.” He apologized and we went on our separate ways. I felt this response was appropriate. As someone representing the Catholic Church it was all the important for him to know how such statements can hurt more than help.
Finally, if your skin is tough enough that you are not bugged by stories of death, I’m glad for you. But, please keep in mind that many people are emotionally raw when battling cancer, and the gift of hope can be damaged by words.
For Additional Study & Discussion
1. Can you remember a time when you felt hopeless? What help your hope to be restored?
2. Read the story of Christ healing Lazarus. John 11:38-44. Consider the hopelessness of Mary and Martha. What does this story teach us about keeping hope in Christ, especially when we face illness?
3. Can you recall a time when someone said something that destroyed or lessened your hope? How did you respond? Was your response appropriate, Why or why not?