Devotional #6: More Than I Could Handle
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
--Matthew 11:28-30 NIV.
Anytime I faced suffering, whether caused by a death, or by divorce, or by my health, the most common and most scripturally unfounded cliché that was spoken to me was, “God does not give you more than you can handle.” This cliché is so embedded in our culture that I have even heard pastors or leaders of Christian ministries repeat it without thinking. Other Christians will defend this statement without reason or justification. Once I posted on Facebook about how this statement actually increased by suffering by making me feel insufficient and inferior because so often my pain was more than I could handle. I was shocked to see how many people insisted that I was wrong and lectured me about it.
There are at least two fundamentally incorrect presumptions in the statement. Firstly, it presumes that God is the giver of suffering and pain. As we learned in devotional #5, God is not the author of suffering. We live in a fallen world and our suffering is a result of that. We know that Satan, and not God, has come to steal, kill and destroy. John 10:10 NIV. Presuming that God gives us pain only serves to perpetuate the incorrect view of an unloving God, and not the loving God who sent his own son to Earth to suffer death on a cross so that we humans could be reconciled with God once and for all.
Secondly, the statement presumes that we, as humans, do not need to rely on God for help in times of trouble, because we should be able to handle our problems on our own without Him. This is the opposite of what the Gospel tells us. Time after time, God calls us to rely and depend on Him in our times of trouble. Matthew 11:28-30 NIV; Exodus 14:14 NIV; Psalm 23 NIV. This can result in a sinful and exaggerated pride—in that it implies, “I don’t need God. I can work through my pain alone.”
Of course, anyone who has experienced significant and extreme suffering knows that we, as humans, are incapable of living this life and carrying our own burdens without some form of relief. When I was in college, for two summers I worked as a waitress at Red Lobster. Many of my fellow servers were living such difficult lives-often filled with poverty, abuse and abandonment—and they were young. Those who did not know Christ turned to self-destructive behavior to cope—drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity, and even crime. If you do not know that you can cast your burdens on Christ because His “yoke is easy” and His “burden is light,” as humans we will turn to something else to help us cope.
I have often wondered whether this cliché derived from a misunderstanding of 1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” Of course this scripture is about sin and temptation and not about other trials and difficulties. They are not synonymous. While we can resist sin, we cannot prevent suffering from happening to us. Christ tells us that in this world we will face trouble, John 16:33, but he also encourages us, in the same verse to “take heart” because He “has overcome the world.” We take “heart” and our refuge in Christ, not in our own strength because it is Christ, and not us who has overcome the world. Our salvation and strength in is Christ and not the product of our own work. Ephesians 2:8-9.
Believing the cliché that “God does not give you more than you can handle” perpetuates pride, a misunderstanding of God’s nature, and self-destructive behavior. We should not be surprised that this destructive cliché has become so embedded in the way Christians seek to comfort. The devil loves to use verbiage that sounds righteous, but actually causes damage. Instead of this cliché we should be saying something like, “I’m so sorry for your pain. It is more than any human can bear, but you are not alone. Christ says you can cast your burdens on Him and that He will never leave you or forsake you. He loves you and can be your Prince of Peace and comforter.”
For Additional Study & Discussion
1. Have you ever experienced a struggle or pain that was more than you could handle? Who or what did you turn to for help? What was the result?
2. Read the story of Paul and Silas praying in prison in Acts 16:25-34. Why do you think Paul and Silas chose to pray instead of escape? Was God able to help Paul and Silas in a way that they could not help themselves? What other benefits came from Paul and Silas relying on God rather than themselves?
3. How does putting our burdens on Christ serve to glorify Him?